The New Math

My kids and I invented a fun and educational new game we call Child Abuse Math. It's totally sick and they love it! It started with me holding Kira's hand and telling her that she had to tell me what three times two was.  I wouldn't let go until she told me. She told me that if she gave the wrong answer I had to squeeze harder. (SHE told ME that)

She gave the wrong answer, I squeezed harder, she flinched and laughed and laughed and then gave the right answer. Sam heard the fun and wanted in on it. He literally shoved his skinny little forearm into my fist and said, "Give me one!" So I asked him to tell me what three cubed is. He said nine, I squeezed, both kids squealed with glee and pain and then he gave me the right answer.

Then I started making up word problems like, "If you have 28 teeth, and I give you a roundhouse kick to the face that knocks out 9, how many teeth do you have left?" They were in hysterics. What is wrong with these children! Then I asked Kira, "If you have 32 liters of blood, and I beat 8 liters out of you, how many liters of blood do you have left?" I thought she was going to pee her pants she was laughing so hard! I think I've stumbled onto something big here!